Thursday, April 30, 2009

kinda bla


I have had trouble getting the energy up to blog lately, you know the drill... Been busy with work, study and home life.

Tauranga was lovely so I guess I have my post break blues or something... I went down for a librarian workshop and enjoyed it thoroughly and the lovely time spent with my little family.

I don't know... Life is sweet. I have so much to be thankful for. Loving family and a job I like. I'm excitedly planning William's third birthday (not till June but it's fun to start thinking) the sun is shining outside (sometimes) but in the bath last night I sobbed and sobbed.

I sometimes get hit by waves of grief I can't explain. It was so incredibly hard to get myself up, dressed and make it into work. Now I'm here it's not so bad.

It might be about my self-image. I’m really HATING myself at the moment again. Trying but failing miserably with WW... most of the weight I'm gaining is from drinking. Sometimes I skip meals or have too little throughout the day that by the time I get home I'm dizzyingly starving and scoff down any old thing. I gotta start using the crock-pot more so when I come home hungry there is hot healthy wholesome food waiting for me.

I'm tired
I need a hug and I'm feeling so guilty for feeling down.
I’m angry with myself
Short tempered with most things too.

Will try harder.