Thursday, April 30, 2009

kinda bla


I have had trouble getting the energy up to blog lately, you know the drill... Been busy with work, study and home life.

Tauranga was lovely so I guess I have my post break blues or something... I went down for a librarian workshop and enjoyed it thoroughly and the lovely time spent with my little family.

I don't know... Life is sweet. I have so much to be thankful for. Loving family and a job I like. I'm excitedly planning William's third birthday (not till June but it's fun to start thinking) the sun is shining outside (sometimes) but in the bath last night I sobbed and sobbed.

I sometimes get hit by waves of grief I can't explain. It was so incredibly hard to get myself up, dressed and make it into work. Now I'm here it's not so bad.

It might be about my self-image. I’m really HATING myself at the moment again. Trying but failing miserably with WW... most of the weight I'm gaining is from drinking. Sometimes I skip meals or have too little throughout the day that by the time I get home I'm dizzyingly starving and scoff down any old thing. I gotta start using the crock-pot more so when I come home hungry there is hot healthy wholesome food waiting for me.

I'm tired
I need a hug and I'm feeling so guilty for feeling down.
I’m angry with myself
Short tempered with most things too.

Will try harder.


James M said...

Just remember you are loved!

aussiehen said...

By lots of us :-)

it's not your hormones is it? I usually go through a bad patch before my period's due and think wtf is wrong with me. I'm emotional, angry and craving chocolate and then the penny drops.
Fing hormones

Penny said...

Em you are beautiful - really.

I'm trying to do the weight thing too. I'm trying to follow the HFG magazine's guide. They have some good suggestions. But it's hard yakka and I HATE having to watch what goes in my mouth. And I hate exercising. The only type of exercise I like is walking and swimming. Have you tried water walking? It's quite fun. Plus you can take the boys if you want and make a family outing.

I get the hormonal shift thing too where I'm yelling at the kids, treating Rod like a worm... The other day I shut myself in the shower and had a good wail. And then plucked my eyebrows. It did help.

Like Hen says... you are loved as you are, not what you might be, should be or could be. *muah*