Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
First, share memories or thoughts of childhood or adulthood sister-friends. Funny, sad, whatever
1. I had a great childhood. There were heaps of kids in my neighbourhood and we had mostly abandoned farmland just accross the road. Many days were spend playing at eachother's houses making up plays and forcing syblings to watch us or playing at the "farm" There was an old orchard with two abandoned cars which were our "forts" and we'd collect lemons and plums as ammo and bombard the other's forts. Sometimes I wish I was 8 again.
2. Growing up I had many friends, I drifted from clique to clique. At 13 I was even part of a gang called LACE (Lyndsey, Amber, Camelia and me (Emma) snigger!!!. At around 14 I formed a very strong bond with a girl who had many of the same interests as me and we became very close friends. Every weekend we'd spend the night at each other's houses. I think both my and her parent's were a little worried we spent too much time together. Neither of us did well in school. Maybe what our parents thought was true but maybe that's what we as teenage girls needed. Michelle (my best friend) was born with a hole in her heart and had a pacemaker. Her heart gave out at only 18, so we were only friends for four years. Maybe being in "eachother's pockets" (my mom's phrase for us) was one way of getting a lifetime's worth of friendship in the short time we had.
3. There was a small moment in my life where I was almost completely friendless (hard to fathom isn't it?) After Michelle died my other two close friends married eachother and moved to the States. I fell into a deep depression, having failed to get into teachers training the day before my best friends death I was really lost. Eventually I got a part time job shelving at MIT started up some night classes and decided I wanted to get a BA. My grades were shocking and I needed a step between so did a one year course at Auckland Uni where I met the sweetest person alive. Marlita (MILLY) is amazing. Although she studied an entirely different degree (science!) we became fast friends, going to the beach, sharing meals, pubbing/clubbing, camping together over the holidays. Three favourite memories are grape picking/wine tasting /camping in St Martins bay, playing computer games together (Go Discworld and Sam and Max!!!) and taking the ferry over to devonport, ordering hot chocolates at the Java cafe (Which had couches and board games upstairs WOO!) Milly and I still have lunch together most weeks as we both work really close to each other.
4. This is becoming more of a life story aint it? WOW! OK Giggling with Heather! Man can she laugh. Heather and I met doing our Library degrees. I can't believe how bad an influence we were on eachother... Even passing notes in class!!! Someone companiable to share a drink and talk to who has similar interests and goals in life. What more can you ask for in a friend? Well it dosen't hurt that she's married to my hubbies good friend. Heather met Luke through us... James n Luke went to school together. It's awesome to get together as a foursome, there is no wierdness where anyone feels left out. We just couple off (Heather n I with some drinks and the couch) the boys with talking geeky or gaming. HEAVEN. I haven't quite forgiven Hen for moving to Sydney. I am workin on it though and Sydney isn't that far away. My favourite memory I cannot share or James will kill me. It involves dinner at their place and my big stupid mouth. The evening ends up with a very sorry Emma proposing to make up to a very put out James!
Better stop here William's tearing the house apart
The second part is to pass this on.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A reoccurring theme that crops up when talking with friends and family is how busy our lives are. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to (being the nerd I am) physically see my schedule to perhaps help me slow down. I’m an organising FREAK I Love control, I love being busy and I procrastinate like a pro. So step into my world.
9th – 15th March
Monday: Laundry, wash up, visit Mum n Dad, spot of cooking for the week, Dinner out with friends from the States.
Tuesday: hot-pools with Ellie and Georgia, (about an hour drive each way) make tea, go shopping after Liam goes to bed, fold laundry watching Boston Legal.
Wednesday: Die hair, Work and dinner at the in-laws.
Thursday: Work, pick up DVD player for mum, back into town for Dinner with more friends.
Friday: Work, Massage, (Discover the dress I wanted to wear to Bex’s wedding next Thur is probably too short) spend lunchtime in a panic looking for a new dress. Admit defeat. Go home and furiously clean up house before friends come over to play…. Play
Saturday: Wake up regretting amount of booze drunk, Work. Make tea and extra stuff for the rest of the weekend, Attempt to re-button Liam’s waistcoat for the wedding while watching Angel season 4 the house always wins Find a dress for the wedding in bags downstairs (narrowed it down to two) Put said dresses in the wash. Have the first early night in AGES.
Sunday: Work, Readings for class… Take up William’s pants
16th – 22nd March
Monday: Laundry, spend quality time with William, concentrate on the potty training!!! Maybe make a “I miss you” card for Pop pop, IF William sleeps try get my online status working for uni. dinner at the in-laws
Tuesday: Pick up petals, visit Mum and Dad, homework if William sleeps, find smart shoes for William, dinner, wedding rehearsal at 7.30
Wednesday: Work, last minute check of clothes and pack daybag for William
Thursday: Rebecca and Jeremy’s wedding.
Friday: DAY OFF!!! Recover from Jeremy and Rebecca’s wedding… homework, perhaps get a bit of study in…
Saturday: Work. Homework
Sunday: Work Homework
So now what can I do?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
To begin with Liz has asked me to write about something I feel bad about involving being a mom to: "Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!"
OK it’s a shocker!!! Please don’t call the authorities to take William away from me!!!! I have a pretty long fuse but at the end of it a firecracker temper and I'm also incredibly reactionary... I've always been a bit violent and when I’m hurt I tend to lash out. There are times when William's spent the day testing me, pushing my buttons and if I’m unwell or tired or if I’m hormonal I sometimes get pushed too far and as a result he gets manhandled (picked up and stuffed into his room) by me or even smacked in anger (Something I absolutely HATE doing)
One such incident happened last night. Instead of relaxing in the hot pools I spend most of my day running around after a naughty boy. We’d had an exhausting day swimming most of the time out he didn’t listening to me and ran around so I was almost hoarse from yelling all day whilst my friend’s daughter was an ANGEL sitting patiently waiting for William to stop being a (Fill-in-the-blanks) (I quite like the term Sodlit) I’d been so patient with him and his constant running off and not listening. He didn’t have a nap on the way home so by 6pm he was a feral wee beastie. He was sitting on my knee for snuggles but continually reaching up and scratching my face with his kitten-like fingernails. After pushing him away several times and telling him “Stop it I don’t like it” I got a particularly nasty scratch on my lip I snapped and ended up striking out.
I sat with him and explained afterwards that hitting was wrong and mom's sorry and I shouldn't have done it and we should always try to be kind to one-another and even if I didn’t leave a mark on him it's still heartbreaking to betray his trust I felt sick at upsetting him.
William was put to bed with a bottle of milk, cuddles and a HUGE talk about good and evil and the importance of sleep. I’m not sure how much he understood but he forgave me and I him. It just sickens me that I’m not the role model I wished I could be for my son.
I am devoted to my son and he's 98% adorable and only like 2% feral beastie I just wish the Feral beastie wasn’t too much for me to handle.
Secondly to remind myself that I am a good mom, list SEVEN things I love about William, I love doing with William, or that William loves about me. These are the things to remind myself of EVERY DAY that I rock
1. Watching him sleep and his sleepy talking. Every night we tuck William in before we hit the sack. He will always say “love you too” in his sleep if you say “Goodnight William I love you” James loves reading Oh the places you’ll go to William and they love the line: “hang-ups and bang-ups can happen to YOU” and William will argue back: “No yooouu daddy/mummy” Once James n I were tucking William in and James whispers “I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to …” and William sleepily replies: “No yooouumummy”
2. I love the fact he’ll always kiss you back if you kiss him.
3. I ADORE listening to him play… He’ll be sitting on the floor and the funniest conversations will be invented between animals, cars really anything.
4. I may have mentioned it before but William found my voice… I never was a singer until I had a wee baby to sing to. Now I don’t care and sing whilst walking, at home or anywhere.
5. Williams giggle. Is there anything yummier than a wee person being tickled? Sometimes he goes “stop mummy” when I tickle him and I stop, he takes a breath and says GO! Lol
6. Looking at life from a different perspective; who knew Auckland had so many diggers, concrete mixers, ladybirds, rocks, snails, Fire engines and broken glass?
7. Although it can be sometimes exhausting I love spending time with him. I like taking William out to fun places like the beach, hot-pools, parks, bush, library, shops but also like sneaking down to the crèche in the afternoon for a quick cuddle or a wee walk.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Quite common in mine and hubbies circle of friends we have used the word Gay in what would seem a derogatory way. We’d ironically say that public displays of hetro affection (including ours)was soooo Gay! But then, as habits do, it spread to describing other things such as a overly pimped out car for example.
I don’t want Liam growing up using this term, what does a 2 year-old know of irony? I also want to stop my potty-mouth around the boy too.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
It's Sooo busy at work. It’s funny it feels like we are half way through the year and it’s only the first week for the students. (It's taken me almost an hour to type this between questions) poor scared first year students not knowing what they are doing. PLUS the library system is having a meltdown and isn’t letting people login so I’ve had several kids and frustrated staff come up asking if they have their passwords wrong. It’s a bustlely hive of activity outside PHEW.
We took the budgies from Crèche home on Friday and returned them today. Liam’s loved caring for them. I must admit it was fun having them for a while. Yesterday morning I put them out on the grass and popped a big container of water in their cage and they went nuts bathing themselves and drying out in the sun.
I took Liam to Piha yesterday, we had the best time. (MAN I forgot how narrow and windy the roads were!) We stopped first at the information centre which had lovely puzzles and awesome views and even geckos to look at. We are TOTALLY going back, its free and not too far from home.
We then had about two/three hours at the beach. William learnt about the dangers of surf beaches and got bowled a couple of times. I stayed within reach but didn't "rescue him" but encouraged him to "JUMP UP HERE comes another wave QUICK" I want William to have a good respect for the sea but also realise he shouldn't panic but try stand up. He also found a rubber fishing lure (no hook or anything) and played with it for a very long time. We dug a hole on the tideline and filled it with water so it could "swim" but after about half an hour playing a HUGE wave came in and washed out our wee hole and sucked our "fishy" into the deep blue. Poor William couldn't understand why Mum couldn't get the fish back.
There was a little blond boy a tiny bit bigger than Liam playing on the beach with his Dad and they played together for a bit chasing gulls very yummy. ALSO very yummy was my egg burger and chunky fries on the beach. (Thus the need for two expert gull chasers)